lazy

"preach the word; be ready in season and out of season..." 2 Timothy 4:2

i remember vividly the first school we went to. it was a muslim school with hundreds (i would say over 400 or right around) of beautiful children and there they were....sitting and staring at us and waiting to see why we were there. before we got there we were trying to decide who was going to do the gospel presentation and lord knows i was too scared to put my big girl panties on and be the first to do it. after all, we were using a evangacube and i had never used one of those before; so i used that as an excuse. funny how the holy spirit convicts a person, eh?

i had convinced myself that i was not ready to share the good news with these precious children in a way they would understand. that thought may have been one of the most foolish and ignorant thoughts i had that day...better yet, probably the whole trip. to think that i had to present the gospel (which is not mine) in a "convincing" manner was just plain stupid...and the holy spirit let me know that real fast!

for starters i was convicted of how i made sharing truth about me and not my jesus; i was convicted of not trusting that speaking scripture and truth about our sin and need for a savior was enough and that the lord couldnt use that to change hearts...after all, we were in africa. once again, plain ignorant! but heres what really got me: i tend to recite the gospel off of what i have been taught through the years and i sometimes steal different techniques to present it in a way that connects with people; i tend to do it out of "muscle memory" if you will, instead of conviction and going solely off the word that brings freedom from sin.

scripture is clear that we are to be ready in and out of season...at every moment and every place, including a ugandan school under a shade tree. i sat there looking at these kids and i remember sensing this feeling of shame because i wasnt ready and i was timid and then kb starting telling them about a story of hope. praise jesus for the holy spirit! he convicts and disciplines but oh how he comforts! i knew i wasnt ready and i was disappointed in my laziness in that but i was overwhelmed with the fact that these students and even there teachers were about to hear the good news that brought us all the way to the other side of the world. i began to cry because i knew that truth was being spoken over these kids; undeniable truth that does nothing but set them free and gives them hope! oh the joy of one simple message.

after every presenation we would go and play a pick up game of soccer with the school's team and on the way to the field we would alway sing and dance...well this time was by far my favorite! i wish i would have recorded it because we danced, sang, and laughed so much that i was tired and out of breath by the time we got to the field. but i would rather sing and dance with those kids than ever pick up a bat or glove ever again in my life.

i remember looking around at all those different faces and trying to pick out the differences and tell them apart; nearly impossible. i couldnt help but to think of how creative the lord is. he made each and every one of those kids, you and i, so incredibly different and yet he knows each by name and how many hairs are on there heads. they were all beautiful and talented in their own unique way and their laughter...oh their laughter. i could care less if it was at me, my white skin, or my nappy hair; just hearing them laugh made every bit of dust on every inch of my body worth it.

even in africa i know i was always looking to the next school or the next thing on the agenda. i also know that i missed out on opportunities to love on people as christ did and to be loved on. i wasnt ready in that moment when my number was called and i retracted to being shy when i know that i was born to be bold in my faith despite the uncomfortable circumstances or even language barriers. my hope and prayer is that my eyes would be opened to each and every moment and see the blessing the lord has given and that i would hide his word in my heart and cling to it...especially when he says to be ready in and out of season.