No More Cankles

Have you ever considered how the Lord cares about the details of our lives? Not only is he in control of the "minor" details of our lives but he is smack dab in the middle! I picture him just sitting there watching us figure out that He was there all along; intricately weaving and watching scenes to the greatest story ever told unfold. He's probably sitting there eating popcorn enjoying the heck out of it. 

I have the opportunity and ability to workout regularly. It's something I thoroughly enjoy and getting to eat whatever I want is an added bonus. I'm practically a sponsor of Popeyes. It's funny how the gospel changes every aspect of your life. ie: working out. Because of the gospel, I no longer workout for the sake of being the fittest person. Although being physically fit does have its benefits, it does nothing to a body that is wasting away every second. Rather, by the grace of the gospel through Jesus, I workout to love on my neighbors. It's in the gym that we find common ground through doing some strange band of exercises because we are that crazy. We suffer together, we laugh together, we (occasionally) eat together, and every day we get to know each other a little better than the day before. 

No longer do I workout for a six pack I will never obtain but I workout so I don't get cankles. For real, one of my biggest fears in life is getting cankles. In fact, when I was younger I used to do calf raises all the time because I thought that would prevent them. Shallow, I know. Because of the gospel, I workout to love on my new friends in hopes to share the best news I have ever heard. We are called to live with gospel intentionality. When we play, when we eat, when we work, or whatever we do. By the grace of the Holy Spirit, I have been pushed to workout with consistency and vigor like never before. To serve my friends at the gym relentlessly and the Lord is faithful to provide opportunities.

I have a precious friend I met at the gym who also happened to work with Lauren, Wade, and my brother in the ICU. Told you the Lord was in the tiny details! Anyways, we have struck up a sweet friendship. We spend most of the class laughing and goofing off. I think I get a better workout from laughing than the WOD. I am confident that the Lord is doing a work in her heart and will one day reveal himself to her. Until then, I will continue to workout at 6:30 in the afternoon and serve the dog mess out of her and my other friends in the class. Oh that they would see Christ working through this measly flesh and rejoice in his faithfulness. That I would think upon the gospel and have the boldness to invite them to the banquet table to taste and see the greatest of fare. I don't want to change them because that isn't my job and if it were, I would suck royally at it. I want them to know Jesus. After we encounter Him, everything else falls in its rightful place. 

I often find myself daydreaming about the day they will come to know my Jesus. How we will look back and put the puzzle pieces together and see how He was in the midst of the details. Joyfully laughing at the goodness and faithfulness of our Lord. He is in the details.  

Daily I plead that the Lord would give me the faith and obedience to walk with gospel lenses. I screw that up more often than I hit a homerun but I serve the God of grace and mercy. His faithfulness is humbling. His grace is humbling. Praise Jesus that He is in the midst of the details! Forget not his benefits! 

I'm not the biggest fan of reading. Part of me wants to be, but it's more of a chore than a hobby I enjoy. When I do decide to read, the only things I like to read are books that will push me to know and love Jesus more.  So when Beth Moore puts a ton of her books out there for FREE, you better believe I will be all over them. Just saving them up for a day when I decide I want to be a reader.
Right now I am in the middle of "Believing God" and it is so good! She could tell me to rob a bank and I would probably do it without hesitation.

In this season of life, I think it's safe to say I am struggling with singleness. I cannot imagine how hard marriage is or juggling kids while making sure dinner is cooked and clothes are clean, all while joyfully submitting to your husband. Yet, I desire to have a husband and a family but The Lord graciously has me in this season of singleness. I know without a doubt that the ultimate goal is Christ and not marriage or children. I know that they, like anything else, can easily become an idol. Even in this time of frustration, I have no choice but to trust that the loving Father knows what he is doing.

Beth Moore mentioned in her book that she does not hesitate to ask The Lord for his miracles and blessings because his resources are endless. One thing that really grabbed my attention was her simple but bold statement of trust and faith in The Lord. " If I don't get my miracle but God gets greater glory, I choose to believe I received the greater miracle with the most eternal dividends." I want to have faith that The Lord is giving me what is best for me because he is a loving Father who is good and does good. As frustrating as it is, I have to keep my eyes on Him. If not, I am like Peter sinking like a rock. Instead of sinking in water, I sink in a sea of doubt and self pity, both of which reek of sin. Like a child throwing a temper tantrum and screaming because they didn't get what they wanted.

I want to believe that if I don't get what I want, that I am getting the greater miracle. I am getting a gift that is just as great. Even in frustration and doubt, I have a Father that is by my side who has not abandoned me. The Lord is gracious and in this season of singleness, I know that I am just as blessed as the person who has everything they ever asked for.

I am a huge fan of music. From classical to hip hop, I love it all (except country). There is nothing that stirs my mind's attention and my heart's affections like Christian music. Let's be honest for a second. There is some Christian music out there, past and present, that I could do without and have no shame in hitting the next button as soon as I hear the first note. Some of my favorite people to listen to are Shane and Shane, Bethel, Bryan and Katie Torwalt, and TGP, just to name a few. Not only are they incredibly talented musicians but they are also biblically sound writers. 

I remember driving home the other day and a certain Shane and Shane song came on and I couldn't help but weep. Let me share the lyrics with you: 

The father of lies
Coming to steal
Kill and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can't abide
He's right
Alleluia he's right!

The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation

Could the father of lies
Be telling the truth
Of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death
Then death is mine
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can't abide
He's right
Alleluia he's right!

Oh the devil's singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He's forgotten the refrain
Jesus saves!

Any time I hear this song I cannot help but to weep. I weep because of the last two words: Jesus saves. The entire song is full of truth; I cannot gain salvation, I am cursed and gone astray, death is mine. It's full of a weighty truth that can become a burden if we choose to believe it and forget the refrain. If we choose not to believe that Jesus saves. 

When they sing "He's forgotten the refrain/ Jesus saves", I lose it. We are not cursed anymore because of Jesus. We can abide because of Jesus. We are found because of Jesus. Embracing accusations is part of the beauty. In order to understand the beauty of being found, we must understand that we are lost. But hallelujah, Jesus saves!

Embrace the accusations but don't forget the refrain. Embrace the fact that you are weak, broken, weary, and a hot mess. Cling to the refrain: Jesus saves, mends, heals, restores, adopts, and calls us his own.